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Female to Androgynous Transgender
jasper_sable wrote in sweet_androgyny
I consider myself androgynous. I am an adrogyne. For all my life I have been labeled things like 'tomboy' or 'a man's mind in a woman's body' or similar things. However, I do not wish to become male, but nor am I female. I wish to get a mastectomy, because my breasts are not part of who I am as a gender, and I've wanted them to vanish pretty much since they started growing when I was a kid. I've also considered getting a low dose of testosterone, nothing like the injections FtM's undergo, but just enough to balance my hormones more towards the level I wish for myself.

However, the hormonal therapy is on the back burner since I want some more information on what it will do to me, and if there are any risks to my ladybits if I were to start. But the mastectomy (top surgery) is something I honestly want as soon as possible. So here's my main issue. I've been reading up on transgenders and sex reassignment surgeries and gender identity disorder, and... I don't know if I honestly can even apply to get the GID so that I might pursue top surgery and maybe even hormones sometime in the future. Most of the definitions for transgendered is 'someone who wishes to be of the opposite sex', and I don't wish to become male, I wish to physically become androgynous. Which means the mastectomy.

But can I even get a GID diagnosis? Androgyne's are pretty much nonexistent, let alone FtA's like me. The only advice my counselor could give me at this point and time (I just broke the news to him two days ago about my gender identity) was to write a book. He said guaranteed someone would pick up the book, read it, and be able to relate.

Unfortunately, that does nothing to help me now.

Is there anyone going through something similar?

x-posted to genderqueer

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I'm not transitioning myself so I haven't extensively researched it or anything, but on the testosterone levels, something that I've heard from people who take low testosterone is that it ages them rather than makes them look androgynous. So while they don't look like a man; they just start to look like an old woman. Might not happen with everyone though, but there is apparent risk of that effect so you should be aware. I know that some people just go on T on a normal dose of hormones and then stop when they reach a more androgynous stage or take a lower dose or something... There are probably many ways of doing this and it probably varies on the person.

Also, I do know that many people who don't fully ID as male but who do ID as genderqueer or something else CAN and DO have top surgery all the time. Perhaps it depends on their therapist being able to understand that they have body dysphoria as well and their chests can be removed on that regard. You can look up ways that they achieved that too. :)

I wouldn't be looking to get T to alter my appearance, since I'm quite happily already very androgynous looking, but rather to literally balance my hormones and get as equal to having both estrogen and testosterone as possible. Physical androgyny isn't really what I'm after, more inner androgyny, though the mastectomy and hormones would just be to make my physical body match my inner image of myself.

I'm learning that perhaps a GID diagnosis or even a gender therapist aren't necessary at all. I've been continuously researching, so I am getting more and more well-informed :)

Ah, I see, well in that case I completely understand. That could be a good option for you, especially because the right hormones (and hormone mix) can affect our brains for the better!

I just came across this community and yours was the first post I read and I couldn't believe my eyes. I have just recently become more aware of myself and of my options and I feel as if androgyny is the most comfortable thing and something I want. I have a rather large chest and want at least a reduction but if I could just have it all gone I would feel so much better. Everything you wrote sounds like everything I want. You're not alone and it's good to know I'm not alone either. I feel so restricted by my female gender role and I feel like there is more to me than that.

I Most Certainly Do Understand!!!

Are you still around and reading this thread?

I discovered the word "genderqueer" about 3 years ago and it was like my heart cried out in joy! I've been so disconnected from my body and closed off from who I am for so long, that only now (in the last couple of years) have I begun to share my thoughts on myself. I recently, after a long and exhaustive (and painful) search, found a therapist that I feel comfortable expressing my innermost feelings and desires to. It's been difficult, because just like you, I don't want to go from being perceived as a woman to being perceived as a man (although I do have a strong attraction to gay identified males and would love to be found attractive by them). But how I feel is in between, androgynous, both female and male, or neither male nor female. And that is how I want to be perceived, where people cannot definitively place me on either side of this gender binary.

I would love to hear about your journey after this posting. Hope all is well.

In solidarity,

Just found this on a Google search...

I just found this on a Google search, and it makes me feel so much better. I've been out as trans for 2 years now, but I just keep hesitating when it comes to transitioning. I kept thinking there was something wrong with me, or that maybe I wasn't serious enough, or maybe I was wrong about it, but then I thought that being androgynous might be something I aligned with more properly.

I made me so happy to see this pop up as the first result, and I feel significantly less anxiety now. (the greatest feeling is not being the only one.)I feel more masculine-androgynous that straight up male, and that always makes me worry. I suppose, even when being a part of a group that denies the binary, it is difficult to conceive of the possibilities outside of the new set and order we create in our heads. Thank you for giving me some peace of mind, as well as an expanded point of view.

I am also experiencing this. I am seeing a psychologist in a few days to see what can be done and to see about getting a GID diagnosis. I would like access to the same treatments as ftm or mtf trans people but in order to change certain parts of me so I look androgynous. (I hate my large breasts and would like a hysterectomy and potentially a small amount of T-which I do believe is available as a treatment for women who have low sex drive).
I really hope they take me seriously because I am having serious dysphoria about my body and my social gender role and just feeling so confused about it all.
I am quite glad to know from reading this that I am not alone. I think there are more androgyne trans people than we are led to believe.
Something that I have found helpful is to look up androgynous bodies on google, to tell my partner and some friends to refer to me in gender neutral terms, buying clothes that fit the look I am going for, and talking to trans people and my doctor about it. I am hoping I have the courage to talk to my family about it soon.
*hugs* Glad to have met you. Xxxx

I completely agreed with how you feel. I am barely an a cup and wear sport bras all day and they actually cause me pain. I tend to not wear them but then I feel like I should have something on. Why should I feel like I have to hide them, why can't I just get them removed and be happy. I am currently researching ways to have them removed without identifying as trans and more androgynous.

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